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Beyond Meat × Florida DOC

Note

The above subject is a fever dream, not reality as I know it. If you want to make it happen, though... I'll bring my spork.

I was reading the news in our Newsstand app sometime recently and saw news that thrilled me as a vegetarian. Beyond Meat announcing their availability at some 2,000 Walmart stores, and their stock rebounding sharply? Man, if I were out when I heard the stock was down, I'd have bought a bunch of shares (no, really -- I try to buy stock in companies I respect).

Consider for a moment. I do not eat meat, and do celebrate products that play into that. On the streets out west, when I would shop at FredMeyer, Grocery Outlet Bargain Market, Safeway, and Albertson's, I would more often than not pick up a plant based alternative instead of buying meat, whether it was Beyond's products, or one of several of their competitors (including one whose product was mushroom based, starting with a Q).

I had a thought: what if Florida Department of Corrections adopted a Meatless Mondays menu that featured products like Beyond's sausage at breakfast, their crumbles at lunch for tacos, and burgers at dinner with lettuce, tomato, and onion slices?

Yeah, that'd be really nice, so I don't see that happening.

Instead, I'm just going to keep a weather eye on whatever crawled out of that garbage bin and onto my tray.

Again.

This blog post not brought to you by Chicken of the Swamps brand NutriaLoaf. Available at your nearest prison chow hall or through your prison's food delivery service.